


Little Things She Can't Share

by honeypower



Series: Every Day A Little More (A Collection of Moments) [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-02-11
Packaged: 2018-03-11 22:24:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3334985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeypower/pseuds/honeypower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If there was one thing Hanji usually never had a problem with, it was sharing. Someone wanted some of her food? She’d happily push her plate over so they could eat together. Someone forgot to bring water along for training? No problem, she still had some and would gladly let the other person have it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Things She Can't Share

If there was one thing Hanji usually never had a problem with, it was sharing. Someone wanted some of her food? She’d happily push her plate over so they could eat together. Someone forgot to bring water along for training? No problem, she still had some and would gladly let the other person have it.

Even on expeditions, she would split her food rations or hand over a spare blade to whoever needed it. Empty gas bottles were exchanged for full ones if she could afford it. If not, she’d make sure she could help the person in another way. Without thinking twice, without wanting anything in return. Hanji took time out of her day, to answer questions of the curious, help a friend or give pep talks to new recruits. The word generous, perhaps even nurturing would be the words one would use to describe the way she went through life. Greed or jealousy were the last thing on people’s minds when they thought of her. Yet here she was, experiencing something that, even for her, was utterly new.

She felt her jaw clench with tension. Her face was hot, while she tried to make sure the smile she had plastered on it looked natural. Opposite her, on the other side of the festively decorated table, Levi was in deep conversation with a guy she had just been introduced to. Their body language spoke volumes, both of them turned towards each other, away from her. Not to mention, the stranger was sitting on the seat that had actually be reserved for _her_. As for Levi, this was the most she had ever witnessed him speak. He was relaxed, his cravat loose and a little askew. There was a nervousness and awkwardness about him, she couldn’t quite put a finger on it. Either way, he was very far away from his usual stoic self. As for the young man, his expression was filled with innocent charm, his gaze attentive, his jokes witty, his posture effortless and relaxed without it seeming forced. And if she hadn’t been so confused by what was unfolding in front of her eyes, she would have sworn that all these things were having an effect on Levi. But how? Nothing ever had an effect on Levi.

It had all began when Erwin sent the two of them into the city of Hermina, as part of the fund-raising efforts of the Scouting Legion. They were to present the work of the legion, attend the yearly ball that took place there and secure financial backing for future expeditions. And up until the ball, everything had gone well. They had presented their papers, with Hanji doing most of the talking, and had answered questions of potential donors. It wasn’t their first time going, but it was the first time without Erwin, who was better at handling the inhabitants of the innermost wall. Luckily, the nobles who were actually interested in supporting the Scouting Legion, had long decided to donate their money. The ball at the end of it all was simply an excuse to get dressed and unwind.

Arthur, that was the name of the man Levi was talking to, was an old friend. That is what Levi had introduced him as, while Arthur shook Hanji’s hand and let his charm do it’s work. And at first it had worked, Hanji had always been curious about Levi’s past. She liked Arthur, he seemed warm-hearted and kind. And she felt honoured to finally be introduced to someone who knew Levi from a time before he joined the Scouting Legion. Especially since he himself was so tight-lipped about it. But the more time went by, and the more the two of them talked, the more Hanji felt left out. Like a third wheel that was simply incapable of chipping in anything useful. When they spoke, it was almost as if they were using some kind of code. Referencing things from their past and from the Underground, that she simply knew nothing about. They laughed every now and then without finishing their sentences, and exchanged knowing glances. Hanji silently sitting by as an interesting conversation was under way? This was new. But there was more than that, she soon noticed. These two were not just old friends, meeting at a ball by coincidence, catching up on life. Levi was like butter in this man’s hands. The others around them might not have noticed anything, he still looked as unapproachable as he always did. But small things, like his expression brightening up whenever Arthur recalled something and his alcohol intake that was higher than usual. She knew if she told any one at HQ about what she was witnessing, they wouldn’t believe her. And Arthur? Those were most definitely flirty eyes he was giving Levi. And it was then that she noticed that her jaw was clenched tightly and her face felt hot. It was then that she felt, perhaps for the first time, like having something for herself. Only for herself.

But Hanji stopped herself. It was selfish, not to mention, she had Levi around her pretty much every day. They not only worked together, but usually spent their free time together as well. Out of habit or simply because it was the most practical and easy thing to do. She liked his company. And as for the strange stirring that she sometimes felt in her chest, well Hanji simply convinced herself that was nothing but a sign of deep friendship and camaraderie that she felt for him. Nothing more, after all the Scouting Legion had no time or space for that thing that began with the little letter “ _l_ “.

***

It was the middle of the night when Hanji decided to go knock on Levi’s door. They were still in Hermina, in a luxurious inn that was nothing like the inns from the outer walls. The place looked like a mansion or manor, not the run-down shacks they usually slept in when travelling. She had left the ball as soon as she finished her food and drink. The two of them hadn’t even noticed her leave. Thinking she’d be able to fall asleep quickly she crept into bed fully clothed, feeling too lazy to undo the fancy style she had forced her hair into. Her uniform itched and pinched, but it didn’t matter. All she had wanted to do was forget that Levi had apparently met an old love of his, or whoever that was. It didn’t matter. Soon enough it would be morning and they would finally get back to their usual lives. But each time she closed her eyes, she remembered Levi’s relaxed and content face. She pictured him together with his charming guy, with whom Levi apparently had so many secrets and experiences. It was driving her crazy, it was robbing her of her sleep, but most of all, it was making her angry and envious.

Hanji knocked on the door loudly. Her mind raced as she waited for some kind of sign of life from the other side of the door. What if Arthur was still in there? What if they were at it right there and then? They would probably not even hear her. Assumed they did, and actually stopped to open the door, unlikely but who knew, what would she say?

Finally a shifting behind the door.

“It’s me,” Hanji whispered through the door.

Silence, then more shuffling. Hanji held her ear to the door until it opened.

“What do you want?” Levi answered while opening the door. She couldn’t quite make him out, as he stood there in the doorway. The corridor was only dimly lit. She tried to peer over his shoulder to see if perhaps Arthur was lying there, peacefully asleep, his oddly handsome face pressed into the soft pillows, but it was pitch black. So she tried her luck.

“Erm, so… I came to, you know, check on you,”  she stammered. Up until then she hadn’t even thought of anything to say in case Levi actually opened the door. The many visions of him and Arthur having sex had completely clouded her capacity to think, let alone form sentences.

“Eh…, to check on me?” Levi asked, unable to mask his confusion. Also, he was fully aware she was up to something, that much was clear to her. She had always found it hard to pretend or lie in front of him. No matter how much she tried, he always saw through it from the very beginning.

“Erm, yes…, you know we’re far from home and stuff-,” Hanji began, but he interrupted her.

“Hanji, what is your problem? What do you want” he said.

“Okay, okay, I… I had a bad dream,” she said to buy some time.

“Go and sleep. You even have you very own room,” Levi said. “For once Erwin actually paid for us to have not only separate beds, but separate rooms. Enjoy it while it lasts,” he added and was about to close the door when Hanji hastily spoke.

“It was about titans!”

This stopped Levi in his tracks. He turned around, looked her up and down and folded his arms in front of his chest inspecting her in silence. “Fine,” he finally said and sighed.

They talked a little, while Levi switched on a lamp. After Hanji had assured herself that there was no sign of Arthur and that the bed was still neatly made, aside from the section Levi had lain in, she began to talk. She made up a story about a bad dream featuring titans. After all she had a rich repertoire to choose from, then asked Levi if she could sleep in his room.

“You want to sleep here?” he asked and sighed while slowly rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

“Yes,” Hanji said as if this were a perfectly normal request.

“Because of the dream?” Levi asked just to make sure.

“Right, because of the dream,” she said, holding her breath.

“Fine,” he said and made his way back to the bed.

***

“You looked pretty fucked up at the ball,” Levi finally said breaking the silence. They were laying in the dark on the large bed, with their backs facing each other. Levi had found a spare blanket and covered himself with it. Hanji had taken his.

“Well, thanks,” Hanji said.

“I mean, you were not yourself,” he corrected himself.

“I just had nothing to add to the conversation.” The blanket she had tightly wrapped around herself still had Levi’s scent on it. There was no way around it, she liked it.

“That’s what I mean. Usually, you always have something to say.”

“Well, I guess you got to see a new side of me today,” Hanji said.

“If you say so,” Levi said. But it was obvious he was not satisfied with the answer.

“But you know what? I also learned something new about myself,” Hanji said into the darkness. Levi didn’t answer, but something was telling her he was waiting for her to follow up. “You know, I am a horribly selfish person. And I’m a hypocrite and pretender.”

“Okay…,” Levi said after a little break.

“I mean, when you introduced me to that guy-”

“Arthur.”

“Yes, Arthur,” Hanji added, making sure not to let her disdain slip into her tone of voice. “When I first met him I was so excited because I thought he will tell me something interesting about your old days. I was fine with him sitting on my chair and I was fine with him talking to you the whole time. But I don’t know, somewhere along the way everything changed. I just wanted him to leave!”

“There is nothing interesting about the Underground. Or my being there,” Levi said.

“You always say that though, and I believed you. Until today. You guys had a lot of interesting stuff to talk about.” Hanji had gotten up and was now kneeling in bed, talking in Levi’s direction who still had his back turned towards her. It was hard to tell what he was thinking. And even harder to say the things she was admitting to him. Shame was creeping up on her. “And don’t tell me he was just some old friend of yours. You should have seen the two of you. The way you were looking at each other!” Hanji’s heart was beating to her throat as she spoke.

“Well, what did you want me to say, _‘This is Arthur, the guy I used to screw back in the Underground.’_ ,”Levi said his voice laden with sarcasm.

“No, but…,” Hanji tried to speak, but had nothing to say. Again.

“And anyway, since when do you care who I talk to and how I talk to them,” Levi added.

“I don’t know what is happening, okay?”

“You were jealous,” Levi finally said. Hanji had known this all along, but hoped that it was something else. Something that was easier to resolve.

“I was jealous,” she began. “I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t think…, I kept imagining the two of you,” Hanji added.

“You did what?” Levi asked, then fell silent. That was it, she had done it. It was one thing to force oneself into the room of a long-time friend to talk about dreams, then sleep there, then confess that one is jealous of their ex-lover. It is another thing to admit one was imagining said friend and their ex-lover having sex. She had annoyed him, maybe even hurt him, and she knew it would take a long time to build up this trust. This was Levi after all. Mysterious man who didn’t like people in his business.

But then she noticed that the bed was shaking, ever so slightly. And it wasn’t her. Could it be?

“Levi?” she asked tentatively. “Are you…?” She grabbed him by his shoulder and turned him over. “Are you laughing?” she asked unable to believe what was happening. Again.

“You imagined Arthur and I fucking?” Levi said amid laughter. Apparently this was funny to him.

“Don’t laugh!” she said grabbing and shaking him in an effort to making him stop. “This is not funny! I suffered for hours, I couldn’t get it out of my mind. It was so infuriating!” This just made Levi just laugh even more. She began to chuckle, even though Levi laughing, and this much too, was something close to surreal.

“Was it good sex at least?” Levi asked while coughing and trying to stop chuckling. “Please don’t imagine us having bad sex, I’m sure there is some kind of karma for that,” Levi said.

“Of course it was goo-, I mean, that is not the point!” Hanji said offended.

Finally the room was silent. She could feel Levi looking at her in the darkness. Only then did she notice that she was pretty much sitting on top of Levi, pinning him down to the bed.

“This is weird,” she said and then let go, unable to find a place to put her hands. “Sorry for sitting on you, I didn’t mean to…I’m sure I’m heavy…,”

“I don’t mind-,” Levi began.

“Oh no, I squeezed you to one side of the bed, ugh, let me move back to my side. Actually I think I can sleep in my room now,” Hanji stammered.

“I really don’t-”

“Huh?” Hanji asked.

“I said, I don’t mind weird, okay?”

Hanji smiled then laughed. “Don’t talk like you’re not also one of the weird guys. You’re weirder than me, Levi.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I always wondered how it would be if Hanji was jealous of Levi, instead of the other way around. Hope this lived up to the idea and I hoped you liked it.


End file.
